Sink or swim. Trial by fire. Fly by management. There are more descriptions and publications on how to be a manager than there are Starbucks in Seattle. So why write another? As common as the topic is, I find that many managers are missing specific fundamentals. My goal of this blog is not to say that my approach is the right approach or I have the answers, but to share my experiences of what has worked well for the teams I have coached throughout the years. I welcome your experiences and approaches.
Nearly all of my professional career I have been a manager and through trial and error, mentoring, and lots of reading, I have developed a style and approach. I do not use a one size fits all approach. My style adapts to the company, culture, and individual.
Note: I use the term manager for simplification. For many practical purposes, I interchange lead and manager. There are differences, but when it comes to guiding, coaching, and mentoring I find more similarities than differences in the roles.
My Beliefs
Before diving into specifics, it is important to share a few of my core beliefs that have shaped my management style.
- Being a manager is hard – it is not for everyone.
- Do not be a manager if you are not willing to make someone’s professional growth a priority.
- A manager should care, personally and professionally, about his/her team. There is, however, a difference between caring and being friends.
- Patience is critical. Feel, pause, and then react.
- The notion that there is an absolute separation between personal and professional life is a fallacy. Managers balance compassion with getting sh*t done.
- Bidirectional open and honest feedback loops are vital.
- I follow a strict “no surprises” philosophy during reviews (excluding compensation changes). Reviews are a summation of the one-on-one meetings.
My Fundamentals
My fundamentals represent the must-haves for a manager. This is not comprehensive but is a starting guide. Align with your preferences and your company’s culture. I’d love to hear what you would add to this list.
Clear Communication
Miscommunications happen. Anyone that is or has been in a relationship knows this all too well. I find that miscommunication often occurs because feelings are trying to be spared, there is fear of being honest, or the parties are not speaking the same language (figuratively). Unfortunately, the net result is lack of transparency, dishonesty and often being blindsided. Personally, I’d rather have it between the eyes than dance around a topic (I’m not a good dancer – just ask my wife).
Be honest, direct, clear and blunt if needed. The message does not have to be abrupt or rude. Shape the message style according to the parties involved. Most importantly, do not leave the room without ensuring everyone is on the same page.
1:1s
1:1s (one-on-ones) are essential. It is time for the employee and manager to have dedicated time to discuss career growth, how things are going, any concerns or questions, and general updates. At times, 1:1s are brief, but use this time to get to know your teammates better and vice versa.
1:1s discussions must be open, honest, and bidirectional. I encourage my direct reports to tell me how I can improve, what I can do to help them and what is on their mind. Depending on the individual, this can take some poking and prodding. Some individuals are not interested in sharing more than what is happening on his/her project. That is the prerogative of the individual. 1:1s are as unique as they come with people management but do I have a few standards:
- Conversations are documented by the employee and sent to the manager. Personal items are excluded. The manager updates the document (if needed) and acknowledges. If your company uses a talent management solution (I use Crelate), see if you can store the document there. If not, email storage works fine too. The goal of this process is to help with reviews and promote clear communication.
- 1:1s happen every two to three weeks depending on the employee and size of the organization. I default to every two weeks.
- 1:1s form the basis for reviews. As stated above, any items that are going great or need to improve are discussed as they come up during the 1:1s. The worse situation is to blindside either party in a review (performance improvements, desire for a new project, better comp, etc.)
- Do not cancel 1:1s. I am notorious for moving 1:1s (among other meetings), but I do my very best not to cancel. It is too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day, but treat this meeting as critical.
Dealing with Negative Emotions
Like it or not, there are going to be times that you are pissed off, upset or sad at work. Emotions are the reality of life. I have worked with managers that believe that as a professional, you should be able to separate your feelings from your job. That is a load of crap. I have been in the position of pissing off a team member and other times where I wanted to fire an employee on the spot because he pissed me off (skipping details).
As a leader, I believe one of the best attributes you bring the table is patience. That is easier said than done. Patience is a virtue, and it takes practice – a lot of practice. The best leaders I know have mastered emotional reaction. I am not suggesting they do not want to jump over the table and smack the person that is irritating them, but they have learned that is far more effective to breathe, listen to the emotion and know when and where to react.
For inappropriate behavior conversations, it is best to have them behind closed doors. There are exceptions, of course, such as egregious behavior, but as a general rule of thumb, I’ll have these conversations as soon as possible, and not wait for the next formal 1:1. Like the 1:1s however, the dialogue is documented and if appropriate, HR is included in the conversation and/or email thread.
Your Style
As I mentioned earlier, I have shaped my management and leadership style based on my mentors, reading many books and blog posts, but most importantly, what has worked well for my team and me. Find a style that works well for you, know that it is a constant state of a draft and it has to be adaptive. One size does not fit all.
Recommended Readings
- HBR: Assessment: What’s Your Leadership Style? LEADERSHIP The 4 Leadership Styles, and How to Identify Yours
- Development Leadership Goals
- Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life
- Start with Why
- The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
- The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else In Business
Until next time,
Chris
My Musings 